Social Thinking Vocabulary
Expected/Unexpected: Behaviors are either “expected” or “unexpected.” This terminology has its basis in what other people expect our behaviors should be. If a person “expects” us to use kind words, inside voices, etc. and we do, we are following “expected” behaviors. Screaming indoors, kicking, hitting, etc., would all be “unexpected” behaviors. We also use “expected,” and “unexpected” to describe doing what is “expected” in a group.
Thinking about me, thinking about you: I have adapted this to “thinking about ourselves (myself) ” and “thinking about others.” This has its basis in the understanding (often difficult for children on the spectrum to understand) that my behavior affects how others think about me. If I am thinking about myself, I am not taking into consideration how my behavior is affecting others. If I’m “thinking about others,” I am taking that into consideration. This terminology can be used in providing instructions on group work, remaining on task in discussions, playing at recess and general behaviors.
Whole body listening: Being a good listener means more than just hearing what is being said. It is important to break down ALL the components of listening. Whole body listening means:
Listening with the eyes: looking at the speaker; looking at others face and body language so you can make a good guess about what they are thinking
Listening with the mouth: closed and quiet, no talking, humming, making sounds OR commenting on the subject when in a group
Listening with the body: facing the speaker
Listening with the hands: quietly at the side of the body, on the lap or quietly taking notes
Listening with the feet: standing still or quietly on the floor
Listening with the brain: thinking about what the speaker is saying, what others are doing to help make guesses about their actions/reactions
Listening with the heart: caring about what the speaker is saying
Your body is in the group/your body is out of the group: When someone’s body is turned into the group and they look like they are working as part of the group. We notice when somebody’s body is not part of the group.
Thinking with your eyes: Your eyes are ‘tools’ that help you figure out your environment and what other people might be thinking about. It puts the emphasis on the students becoming good observers and to use the clues to make smart guesses about what other people might be thinking about. They are encouraged to use this information to adapt their thinking, words,
and behavior. Also, if you use your eyes to look at a person, it makes them feel that you are thinking about what they are saying or doing.
Your brain is in the group/your brain is out of the Group- We notice when somebody’s is in the group and their brain is paying attention. We think that person is doing a really good job
participating in the group. We also notice when somebody’s body is in the group, but is does not appear like their brain is part. It does not appear that their brain is thinking about the same thing as the group. We say “your brain is not a part of the group”.
Personal Space: Stand or sit an arm’s length away from others. Sitting or standing too close is referred to as “invading their space.”
Making Smart Guesses: Knowing and choosing when to apply specific social skills, choosing what words to say. This depends on our ability to “read” the situation and infer what actions to take based on that situation
I can Change How you Feel/You can change the way I feel: Understanding that your behaviors affect how other people relate to you and theirs affect you
Being Part of the Group: When in large groups, we might think that no one is paying attention to us, so we don’t have to pay attention to them. They feel “invisible.” Being part of the group says that it’s not good enough to listen. You have to be connected to the group and be aware of the interactions among group members. You should be thinking what the group is thinking. You should be talking about what the group is talking about. You should be doing what the group is doing.
Blurts: An unexpected behavior: when a student calls out in class, makes unexpected (rude) comments, interrupts conversations.
Getting “Stuck”: Thinking about one thing and not being able to get it out of your mind. Becoming upset about something and not being able to get over it. Talking about one subject and not being able to move forward or change the subject. The official word is “perseverating.”
Social Smarts: Using social smarts means understanding that others have thoughts about us and we have thoughts about them even when we are working at school.
School Smarts: Different types of “smarts” in our brains that we use for school learning. Things like math smarts, computer smarts, music smarts, science smarts, and many more.
Be a Detective: Observe other people and try to figure out what they are doing, how they are feeling, and what they may plan to do next. Simply: figuring out what people mean by what they say.
Social Detective: Uses their eyes and ears along with what they know in their brains to figure out what is expected and what may happen next. When we use our social smarts we become social detectives.
Smart Guess: guesses you make based on some information you have already learned. You try to figure out the next logical piece of information based on what you already know. (inferences, predicting)
Wacky Guesses: guesses you make when you don’t have enough information or solid clues. Example: I ask “guess what color I’m going to wear to school tomorrow,” and you say “blue” without any information. You might respond: “I don’t know, I don’t have enough information!”
Reading People’s Emotions: Being able to form smart guesses about how people feel by looking at their faces, body language, gestures and listening to their tone of voice
Good (okay or normal) thoughts: Others have thoughts about us based on what we do and say. When a person has a good thought (normal thought) about is it means that we figured out how to act in that place with that person. When others have good thoughts about us, they feel good too and may remember how we make them feel.
Uncomfortable (weird) thoughts: We have uncomfortable/weird thoughts about others and they have the about us, based on how people act, what people say, or how they physically present themselves. When a person has an uncomfortable or weird thought about us it means we did some behavior that made people take notice of us in a more negative way, just like when we take notice of other’s behaviors that make us have uncomfortable thoughts about them.
Social Detective Tools: We all have social detective tools that we can use all of the time to help us figure out people and paces. These super important tools are: Eyes and Ears and Brains and, of course, understanding feelings of others
** Taken from Michelle Garcia Winner’s “Think Social” and “Thinking About You/Thinking About Me” and “Superflex and the Team of Unthinkables” social thinking curriculums